The story of my life (I need a tailor)

On Tuesday of this week, I had one of those days that will forever stand out in my memory. It was one of those days that defines your character, your courage, and pretty much sums up your life. In other words this was one of my defining moments.

I'm reaching that stage now where at 21 years old, education is soon to be forever behind me, and the true working life is to begin. In a sense, the first phase of my life is drawing to a close, and the curtain will soon be lifted upon Act 2. In the quest to get a proper job, which is one my two major goals for 2011 (the other being to 'fly the nest'), I had managed to procure an interview with a very reputable firm that operates on a large scale in my local area. I first had to get past an interview and test on the telephone, which was a hurdle that I managed to leap over last week. I was then given the option of a few dates and times for which I could attend an assessment half-day. I opted for Tuesday morning, and the interview process would begin at 9am, and finish around midday. As soon as the phone interview was over and I had arranged for the next stage, I immediately booked an appointment to get my messy hair cut, and went down into town to buy a new suit, as the suit that I owned at age 16 no longer fits me for some strange reason.

My Dad works in the same nearby town as is the location of the job that I had applied for, so on the morning of the assessment half day, I travelled in with him, as he begins work at 8am. As I was in the town an hour earlier, I decided to take a stroll to keep my mind away from the nerves brought on my a high-pressure situation looming, such as an interview. I wandered into the town's shopping centre which was open to walk through, despite none of the shops being open until 9. I rode the escalators down into the food court, and bought myself a coffee from the moody staff at the fast-food 'restaurant' that was open. There were two other very grump looking people also buying coffee and breakfast at the same time. I took my change and my cup, and went to go and sit down, when I noticed that there was a custodian mopping the floor, cleaning it ahead of the day to come. That was when I slipped on the recently mopped floor. I fell awkwardly as I was trying to hold my coffee upright so as to not spill any over my nice, shiny, clean, and smart new suit. I managed to keep the coffee from spilling, but as I already said, I fell, and did so in an awkward manner. I heard a horrible tearing sound as I fell, and I hurt my left leg. Please bear in mind that none of the people that I mentioned that were in the nearby vicinity seemed to care, or even take much notice. I managed to pull myself up, my leg was hurting, but only a little. I hadn't broken it, which was good news. But then, I wondered: 'What was that horrible noise then?'. It then dawned on me, something had ripped, and it wasn't to the front of my body.

Yes, I had ripped my trousers, and in the worst possible way. All up my ass! And I mean 'all up'. This is the biggest tear I have ever seen on an item of clothing that hadn't been made worse on purpose. It was huge, and I can even fit my whole head through this grand canyon sized hole. To make matters worse, my jacket and coat didn't go anywhere near covering this rip, and I was wearing a completely different colour of underwear that day. I almost just decided to cry for a bit, and take my sorry ass home. I sat there, took a sip of my coffee, which I then decided to throw away because I felt too sick to drink it, and then made my decision. I've come too far now to just turn around and leave it.

The Grand Canyon of Wardrobe Malfunctions

I walked around the town looking for a clothing shop that may be open, as I decided that odd, mismatching trouser were better than the half a pair I had been left in. Unfortunately, it seemed that every store in the town opened at 9, which of course, was the time my interview was set to begin. I was left with no choice, I may as well show some balls, and walk into that office building - I was kind of showing balls already anyway. So in I walked, right up to the reception. I announced myself and signed in. I then told the receptionist about what had happened and explained the wardrobe malfunction  that I was currently experiencing (which she no doubt saw as I turned to walk out) and that I needed to quickly rush to the shops for when they opened at 9, to replace my trousers. Thankfully she was extremely understanding, as were the interviewers who held up the interview process for me, and the other candidates in attendance that morning. I rushed around the corner, and waited outside that town's branch of the particular retailer that I had bought my suit from. I waited for about ten minutes until they opened. As soon as they opened their doors I went running in calling out that I desperately needed the same pinstriped suit trousers in my size. The staff realising my horrible dilemma were quick on their feet, and within 30 seconds of having burst into the store, I was paying for a matching pair of trousers. 60 seconds after having burst in, I had changed into my new pair of trousers, and had stuffed the old torn ones into my bag.

I returned to the office at 9:05am, and the interview process began. I think it went all right, although I won't know until next week. One thing I have learnt over the years is that with interviews, and tests, you can really never tell how you've done. One thing's for sure though, I must have certainly made an impression.