King of My Ordinary World

But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive

-DURAN DURAN                          

I've been listening to a lot of Duran Duran recently. It all started just over a week ago when we were heading out in Stacey's car and I stopped by my Mum and Dad's CD collection to look for something to rock out to during the drive. Stacey asked what I was doing, and then told me to bring something from the 80s. I went straight for the compromise, and soon enough were jamming and singing - or rather attempted to sing - our little lungs out to the likes of A View to a Kill and Rio. Although I have a bit of a soft spot for the Bond theme, my favourite Duran Duran hit has to be their most epic: Ordinary World. 

Listening to it as I have many times over the last eight days, I've really started to take in, and digest the lyrics. In many ways it sums up the vast amount of change going down right now... and I'm not referring to coins.... Ok that wasn't funny at all... I'll stop.

It reminds me of a conversation that I had with Stacey's Mum Kim just t'other day, in which we were discussing how you reach a certain point just after your teenage years (teenagedom? teenagehood?) when you begin to realise that maybe you're not going to make the bigtime and fulfill your wildest dreams, and that perhaps that's all right. In a sense, Duran Duran are onto something, you make your way into the Ordinary World, and while those adolescent, teenage days (and nights) have left you with a whole host of awesome memories, there's no need to cry for yesterday. Thinking about all that's gone on in our lives right now, I am really beginning to feel the sense of excitement building. It's time to build our world; it's our time.

We trekked around Ikea today looking for stuff and spending some of my savings away. All for a good cause mind! Ikea wasn't quite the Hell-on-Earth I remembered from when I was a kid, and was actually a lot of fun. It was like exploring the homes of 100 people all at once. My inner-child loved jumping on all the different beds, and trying out all the comfy chairs to see which one would be best to doze off in. Or would that have been my inner-adult? I also found that the Ikea restaurant serves probably the best value meals in the world. Did someone say full English breakfast for under £2? I certainly fuelled up before the shopping marathon, and returned at the end for a can of Swedish pear cider.

At this point in this entry, it probably seems that my whole life is revolving around the impending move, and to be fair rather a lot of it is. However, let's not forget my new job. I'm now three weeks in and am really starting to grasp the whole recruitment game. I barely even notice the commute anymore thanks in large to Stephen King, and am beginning to get to know my lovely colleagues. One other perk of working in London is getting to see my old buddy James Drury, a.k.a. Mr. Westend Musical Man. I met up for him after work on Friday for a drink during his pre-showtime break. While waiting outside his current theatre of work, I was randomly told to eff-off by some psychotic looking man who then turned and stormed off. I hadn't even looked at the guy... gotta love London life, eh? James then came out and met me, and off we walked to find a not-so-crowded pub, walking past Rupert Everett on the way. It was great to catch up with an old friend, and I look forward to doing it more often. The rest of the weekend has then seemingly disappeared; I went to the cinema to see Horrible Bosses on Saturday with Nat, Pete and Stacey, and then Ikea today and BAM! Work again tomorrow!

At this point I'm looking very much forward to next weekend, as I'll be heading back to Ikea and then going out for a much needed night on the town/catch-up with the old Blockbuster crew for a joint Sam/Sarah birthday celebration. Woo Woo Woo - You Know It!

---------------------------------

What is happening to me?
Crazy, some'd say

Who knows, maybe I'll be a mega-star yet ;-)

The First Week

I've had my first week of full-time employment and am rapidly nearing the end of my first proper weekend. So much has happened and it feels like it's all passed me by in the blink of an eye.

My first day at the new job last Monday began as only a first day could in my world. The company that I am employed by take up the third floor of the building, with other companies inhabiting the other floors. I walked into reception on Monday and alerted the receptionist of my arrival. She phoned up to the company and I sat down to wait. About ten minutes later a man walked into the room, looked in my direction and asked 'James?'. Last time I checked, my name was James, so I answered that I was and off we went into the lift and up to the fourth floor... Those of you paying attention may have noticed a fatal error there already. Up we went and I was soon introduced to my colleagues, one of which was stripped down to his boxers after having run or cycled in. They were all dreadfully posh, but friendly enough as they all welcomed me and shook my hand; Mr Boxers included. I was then taken to a meeting room and made a cup of coffee just the way I like it, and I sat down at a table.
'Of course your father is very instrumental in what we do here' began the man.
'I'm sorry, can you repeat that?' I replied.
'I said that your father, he plays a pretty big role in what we do here.' said the man.
'How do you know my Dad?' I asked back, a look of sheer perplexion spread across my face.
'James (insert some other guy's surname here)?' the man then asked, looking somewhat confused himself.
'No, James Cooke.' I answered, the realisation dawning on me.
I was soon whisked out of there and taken back down to reception where the real James was found and turned out to be some sixteen year old school kid. Thankfully I hadn't been summoned yet, and when I was called up with my new colleague Yohanna who was also starting that day, the nerves had completely faded away as I'd already been introduced to one new office.

I'm happy to report that my actual new colleagues are a very friendly bunch, and I'm happy to work in the office with them for the majority of the week. The posh lot upstairs weren't bad either, and I have since bumped into one of them in the lift; we shared a laugh over what happened and he asked whether I was enjoying my proper job.

Many people keep asking me whether the commute bothers me, but the truth is that it doesn't at all. I've read nearly the whole of Dan Brown's Digital Fortress on my travels this week, and haven't even noticed the journey whip by. The thing that has had an effect is the sheer length of the days, as after a full day at work, coupled with the commute, I'm looking at a twelve hour day. It feels like my whole week is work. Luckily, I don't seem to have been too badly effected. I seem to hit a bit of a wall at about twenty past three each day (I used to frequently have a half hour lie-down at around this time), and on Tuesday I was particularly dead-to-the-world; but since then I've rebounded and by Friday I was feeling completely used to it all! Probably the highlight of the week had to be on Day 1, when the team on my desk were all treated to a paid-for lunch to get to know the newbies at a nearby Italian restaurant. Oh, and it turns out that I don't need to take the tube, as the office is in walking distance of Charing Cross, which is good news as it'll save me £60 each month.

Friday came, and I finally got to feel what all other working guys and gals feel on the last day of the working week. We get to go home an hour early on Friday's so long as we've hit certain targets which was a pleasant surprise, and the weekend kicked of flavourably with an Indian meal, courtesy of Peter. Then yesterday, Stacey and I went to view some flats, as the time to move out is drawing closer, and we then spent the remainder of the day meeting some relatives that I had never met before. My second cousin was at one time Mr. UK, which I guess sums up where in the hell my good looks come from! To round out the week, I've just been out for a Sunday lunch with Stacey and some friends. This was followed up by a visit to the park, and Becky and me rode on the miniature railway, reliving our childhoods in the process. And that brings me to right here, right now. I'm back to work for another full week in the morning.... When did I turn into a proper adult?

Season Finale

This is it. Here I sit about to embark on a new career and my proper adult life. Tomorrow I shall be rising early (by my standards) and commuting into the city for the first day of my new full-time job in recruitment. I think and I hope that I'm all set, all that's left is to sleep before the big day.

Papa's Got a Brand New (Man) Bag

Since discovering that I'd got the job a week and a half ago, I've been spending money so that I can go on to make some money. First up was a shopping trip which Stacey jumped at the chance to go on to buy a brand spanking new suit One suit just wouldn't suffice, and I went for a grey suit to contrast my black, pin-striped number. I've also stocked up on shirts and ties, so that I'll have at least one outfit for each of the days of the week. And don't you worry fashion gurus, I do plan to purchase more once I get some dosh rolling in. Once my attire was sorted, I thought about getting a briefcase. My Dad used to have a briefcase when he commuted, so why shouldn't I? Well, apparently briefcases are rather hard to come by these days. Instead I had to adjust my mission objectives and seek out a man-bag. I think I found a pretty good one for a nice enough price, and it should hopefully match my suits.

The final purchase for now came in the form of travel expenses. I needed a train ticket to get into town each day, and I soon found that it ain't cheap as chips! No, I've forked out near enough £400 for a month's worth of journeys. Thankfully it should all be worth it. With my shopping done, I feel I'm now as ready as I'll ever be to start my big-boy job, even if all this retail preparation did remind me of shopping during the 'back to school' days.

So long, farewell...

With a brand new full-time position about to be taken by myself, the end of my illustrious retail career has come and gone. I made sure to work one last time with each of my Blockbuster brethren before walking off into the sunset, and I finished up with one last Friday night shift. Aside from making my manager get all emotion at the prospect of my departure (I have that affect, it's both a gift and a curse), it was a rather unevenetful shift that went by nice and smoothly with Nick and John. I made the two of them take me out for drinks afterwards, and we were joined by Stacey and Tom, and wound out the night by reminiscing about our retail pasts in Blockbuster and Woolworths. We told tales such as the time at Woolies in which me and Tom managed to somehow spend a whole afternoon sitting on the stairs conversing, and the time in the esteemed 'pillow room' when a certain member of management didn't spot us perched up high on a mountain of pillows and duvets skiving off. No wonder that place went down.... Although I still think it has more to do with the fact that I left there and defected to Blockbusters, which gives my now-former employer about two months until administration... I'm joking of course, or at least I hope so for the sakes of all of my good friends that work there, and for the fact that I don't want to be some bringer of bad curses to companies that I work for. Blockbuster Broskis, I'm gonna miss you all, and promise to visit and meet up with you all as often as possible.

What a Soppy Git!

 With the end of one era, and the beginning of another, things really feel like they're wrapping up! So many of my friends seem to be moving on in their lives in one way or another at the moment. Whether it's getting a fantastic score in their degree like my Good friend Nat, or qualifying as a teacher like the Frustrated Creative himself Mr. Pete Town. But arguably no one has taken as big a leap as have Sarah and Mike who yesterday joined together in Holy Matrimony.

That's right, Wills and Kate can step aside, there's a new hot married couple on town. Michael and Sarah, now both known as Mr and Mrs Michael Fenner tied the knot in a nice ceremony in the church that Sarah's parents had gotten hitched inside. The event brought many to tears including the groom, who had never looked happier than when he saw his bride walk down that aisle! We later enjoyed a very pleasant meal under the watchful eye of a rather confident, and at times intimidating (in a good way) toast master. The speeches were all very well spoken, including Mr Fenner's rather soppy one. He admitted to us before the evening's festivities that he was maybe being a little soppy, at which point I warned him of the subtitle above. The bride looked absolutely beautiful in a long flowy dress that I unfortunately cannot describe any further due to my lack of fashion knowledge. I can however add that it was white... which I guess you'd expect.

The evening do was tremendous fun, and the alcohol seemed to flow. Stacey was particularly trolleyed, and everyone had an absolute ball. Everything about the night (and day for that matter) clicked well, and nobody had a bad, or even an OK time. Everyone loved it, and Mike and Sarah should be completely happy with their perfect day! Congratulations guys!

The End...

That's all I have time for now, as I really need to start getting ready for bed ahead of the big first day tomorrow! I'm excited and a tad nervous. If you're looking for a little more reading material, then I'll point you in the direction of Jon Budworth, who for my birthday last year began writing my fictional life story here. Why am I bringing this up? Because he wrote Part 2 for my birthday this year here! Enjoy!

B.W.E. (Best Week Ever)

The pieces of the puzzle that is adult life really are starting to come together. Let's see, in the last week since I last wrote I've turned 22; celebrated said turning of age; spent a day at Thorpe Park; and been offered a full time, proper job! With all that said and done, I thank you for reading another epic instalment of this blog, goodnight folks....

...OK, I find myself wanting a little more detail as I know that some day I'll want to read back on this time.

Fist Pump, Fist Pump, Fist Pump

On the past weekend, Jason and myself joined forces to celebrate our upcoming birthdays with friends, as my 22nd was on the following Monday, while his 23rd was on the Tuesday. We spent a Saturday night out on the town, enjoying a pleasant meal with friends, before hitting a couple of bars. We ended up in a place called The Retreat, which was a small, yet lively little place that served drinks at high price and played music at a high volume. So, yes what I'm trying to say is that the drinks were a little expensive, but that the atmosphere made up for that. Now recently, the fist pump has made a bit of a comeback, largely due to the Youtube sensation that is Long Island Iced Z and the Ryder Revolution that is being felt the world over as a result. The hit internet show features a lot of of the simple to learn, difficult to master dance move, and we more than broke it out on Saturday night, baby! If I remember correctly, which is a little difficult for me to do (although not nearly as bad as it is for me to remember last year's messy birthday bash), it was Sam and myself that got the fist-pumping going, and before we knew it, everyone was joining the revolution, much the chagrin of Stacey who seems to detest the move for not good reason. We even noticed that other patrons of the bar were fist-pumping later in the evening.

Saturday night wasn't the only time over the last week that I was able to break out a fist pump or two though. On Tuesday, the day after my actual birthday, a group of us went to Thorpe Park. Stacey, Jason (the birthday boy), Tom and Jane accompanied me to the top UK attraction, and while there we managed to get a go on nearly every ride. Jane it turns out, being the annual pass holder that she is, is pretty much a Thorpe Park pro, a Thorpe Park veteran if ever there was one. As soon as we got into the park - after having been stopped and searched on the way in for the second time running - Jane marched us straight to Saw: The Ride following the most direct route. We were then amongst the first to ride Saw that day, meaning no ridiculously long queues! Result! As far as the fist-pumping goes, I managed to first break some out on Samurai - a ride that I had never before even contemplated letting go of the handlebars on before; it seems as if I've gotten used to it. X: No Way Out, was a great one to fist pump along on, as the backward roller coaster in the dark now comes complete with disco-techno music to complete the experience, meaning there was no way you couldn't fist pump your way around. And finally, I managed to get a go on Stealth. I hadn't before ridden that one, as for starters it last all of about 20 seconds, and the queue has always been a couple of hours, and secondly, I've been a little scared to be fired along the track that damn fast. Basically, for those not up on their Thorpe Park rides, on Stealth you get accelorated from 0-80mph in just 2.3 seconds, and go straight up in the air at a crazy incline, before shooting straight back down. The start of the ride was pretty scared, and as the countdown to launch began, I braced heavily, but as soon as we got going, I opened my eyes and fully embraced the rush of adrenaline. I mentioned above about how I was braver than usual on Samurai, fact is that it was a common theme throughout the day, as rides that had once got the blood rushing unlike anything else no longer seemed to do the trick quite as well as they once had. Stealth on the other hand brought the full-throttle speed, height, and thrill to return me to roller coaster nirvana. Even still, I managed to break out a fist pump right at the top of the ride, and on the trip back down to Earth. I was even screaming 'FIST PUMP' at the top of my lungs, so loudly that Jane and Tom in front had to try and turn around to find out what was up, as they thought that with the commotion that I was making, that maybe me or Stacey were hurt in some way. 

After getting completely worn out and tired at Thorpe Park, Stacey, Jason and me were only just getting out Tuesday started. Although it was Jason's actual birthday, we'd both celebrated ours on the weekend prior so that Tuesday night could be free for our friend Becky's 21st. To celebrate Becky's milestone, we went for a night out in Maidstone, and ended up in Envy, which was a very nice looking club, if a little dead what with it being a Tuesday night at all. Highlights include: fist-pumping in the middle of the group, and receiving a late birthday gift from Nat and Chris in the form of a hilarious to look at, funnier to drink from Booby-mug! We had a wicked time in Kent's County Town and it looked as if the birthday girl was having a ball. Meanwhile the birthday boy, Jason looked a little sullen on the night of his 23rd. Methinks it may have something to do with being a little lovesick... 

22

The Monday prior to Thorpe Park and Maidstone was as I already mentioned, my birthday. I turned 22 at 10:41am. To mark the day, Stacey treated me to one hell of a day out. We started it with our first ever visit to Madame Tussauds, and I was completely blown away by the Marvel section that they've added in, including the wondrous Marvel 4D adventure that makes use of the dome left behind by the old London Planetarium. Stacey had also booked tickets to the Sealife center, so after lunch we headed there and got to see all manner of sealife, including stingrays, jellyfish, starfish, penguins, and sharks. Some of the sights there were pretty breathtaking. Once we were finished with the Sealife Center, we headed next door to the London Film Museum which had various props from major movies, as well as exhibits of certain films and stars, and even featured a set from Star Wars. From there we headed to the Forbidden Planet store, where Stacey allowed me to get my geek on, and bought me a Dark Tower graphic novel, following which we went to the cinema in Leicester Square. We watched Bad Teacher which was pretty much what it said on the tin, it was pretty funny, but nothing spectacular. We then ended our day with a huge feast in Planet Hollywood, overlooked by yet more movie memorabilia. I enjoyed some sizzling fajitas, washed down by a Dark Knight cocktail. All in all, it's fair to say that Stacey provided me with a jam-packed birthday to go with what had been a fully-loaded few days. 

Wednesday was day booked off to rest, recover, and recuperate from the mayhem. We got up, feeling rather hungover and deflated at 11ish, and got ourselves around to watching the highly anticipated fifth season premiere of Dexter, after which I discovered that finally, after months and months of pain-staking job hunting, that I have a new full time, proper adult, careery-type job. I'm officially leaving the world of retail next week, and in a week and half will be embarking on my recruitment career. I can not wait. The hours promise to be long, and the work hard, but I'm up for the challenge. Recruitment has piqued my interest for a while now, and I feel that I'll do a terrific job of it. 

With that news, I'll leave it for now... Exciting times are ahead for sure. For now, I'm gonna continue to fist pump.... Woo Woo Woo - You Know It!

WordSlinga'

I finished reading the penultimate volume to Stephen King's Dark Tower series this evening - Song of Susannah. With only one more part to this epic quest to read (and then the numerous graphic novel spin-offs and the additional novel that Sai King is to release upon the world next year), it's safe to say that my own personal journey to reach the Dark Tower is nearing completion after four whole years. For those of you reading this that may not have seen my previous musings on King's Dark Tower books, then let me just fill you in a tad to say that I've rather enjoyed taking the slow-approach with these novels, and will be sad to leave mid-world and end-world come the end of the literary road.

I probably sound (or read) like a bit of a loser right about now, but truth be told I don't care much about that. I've been enjoying - and still am - these books and whole-heartily recommend them to all, especially with the first movie adaptation only a mere two years away from us now. What inspired me to start writing again tonight though was the addition of some of the entries from Stephen King's own personal journals included at the end of the book. These journal entries span from the mid-seventies right the way through to 1999, and basically tell of the long, artistic endeavour in which King travelled to produce this World of the Gunslinger and the Dark Tower. It's a fascinating read - almost as much so as the terrific tale that precedes it - as it also tells of Stephen King's own personal battles with alcoholism among other issues while he was dealing with them first hand. Everything he speaks to himself of in these 'Dear Diary' moments tells like one of his eery stories and even culminates in a life-altering event, much like what would happen in one of his bestsellers. Many-a Stephen King fan reading this will probably know of the event in the writer's life that I'm referring to, and if not I ask you really? The incident that nearly killed the world's greatest popular novelist has even been parodied in Family Guy... Twice!

The Pieces of the Puzzle

Having reached this point in my reading of Roland and his trials and tribulations in a bid to reach that ever elusive Dark Tower, it would seem that my life - here in the real world - is starting to take form. I mentioned a couple of blogs back about how Stacey had finally been made a permanent fixture in her office, like a piece of the furniture if it does ya. Well, she's doing great, and I'm extremely happy and proud for her. In my world - Our World - I get the sense that everything is slowly, but surely, coming together. Change is afoot, and in the best possible of ways methinks and mehopes. I have finished my degree at last, and with that comes the climax to my life's work to date: Educating myself. I know, I know, we learn new things everyday, but I'm excited and a little nervous about the fact that I'm no longer a student of the game, so to speak. I've even decided to broaden the job hunt and am looking at the possibilities of working in the big, scary city. I'm 22 next week, so I guess it's time to become a proper grown up... I've already just said that I'm excited, and I am... about everything. I love the uncertainty of life at the moment, just the not-knowing of it all. For instance: Where will I be working in a month's time? What will I be doing? When will I be flying the nest? - These are very, very exciting times indeed, and I'm savouring every delicious minute of it! I even find myself daydreaming about all the little ways in which my life will change when I'm a full-timer. Obviously I'll have more money rolling in and will (fingers crossed) be able to move out soon enough. But I also wonder about my spare-time and all my little hobbies and interests. If I commute to London, the train journey each day, back and forth, will be a little bit of Me-Time, as I can already picture myself sitting in an uncomfy, smelly chair each day, moving at 200 miles per hour reading the latest Stephen King, or playing the newest game on my Nintendo, or even watching some movie or TV show on my iPod. 

According to Stacey though, many officey types that she knows are all into exercise, so maybe I'll abandon many of my likes to tone my abs. I suppose at the very least I should get back on the ol' bicycle. My weekly 411 column will likely become an immediate casualty as I just don't see how I'll have the time to commit to it every week any longer. One of my main concerns though is that I not stop writing. I hope to always keep this blog and don't see any reason for it to end, especially since the entries are always sporadic anyways. I guess I'm overreacting now though about it all, as I don't really know what the near future holds for me at the moment. I just want to make sure that I never stop writing as it's something I love to do, yet is something that I can easily see being forgotten about until one day, a much older version of myself (possibly middle-aged, maybe older) rediscovers this blog and wonders just what in the hell happened, just like a scene out of a movie! I'm sure it'll never get to that though. Sure.

Oli Oli Alioli

I cooked dinner for the family tonight. I produced a chili-con-carne, and the general verdict seems to be that it's better than the one Mum's been serving us up for two decades. I'm sure in truth though that it's only an illusion in that Mum's recipe has been enjoyed so many times that mine comes along and looks all new and shiny, and therefore better. Although I did include sour cream, nachos and guacamole to spruce things up from the tried and true Chili 'n' Rice only combo.

While in the supermarket hunting down the ingredients for the meal ('hunting down' sounds so much cooler than 'shopping for'), I remembered a lunch that was enjoyed by myself, and by Stacey in Spain last year. ALIOLI! Alioli is a garlic mayonnaise-like substance that isn't quite mayonnaise. We ate it en Espana spread on pieces of baguette, with a spoonful of tinned tomato puree matter dashed on top, followed by a pinch of salt. Ah it was delicious, and it took until now - 9 months later - to remember to look the damn stuff up! I guess thoughts like that need the required pregnancy time to be born into my head again. Anywho, the bottom line is that I couldn't find it, and so am left wondering whether this garlic-tasting treat is available on our shores. If anyone can help in the hunt for some alioli, it would be much appreciated.

The Monsters Hiding Under the Sofa?

One final note before signing out for the night (Sleepsville awaits my presence), we re-watched the Disney/Pixar classic Monsters Inc. the other week, 'we' being Stacey and me. It's a fantastically heartwarming film that makes you both laugh and cry... not that I cry at films... I'm a man afterall...

It turns out that Stacey takes some of the subject matter a little seriously. Now, she's always had this habit of having to put her feet up on my lap which I thought nothing of - Maybe that's just how she was comfortable sitting - Maybe not. No, Stacey would only put her feet up on my lap when she wasn't wearing slippers or any other appropriate footwear. For you see, there could be monsters lurking in the teeny, tiny crevice beneath the sofa, or bed, or whatever the hell you're sitting on, and apparently the defence against such terrors is warm, soft and comfortable footwear. Hazzah! 

Weird foot fetishes aside, I am in for a hell of a week, as we're pub-quizzing it up tomorrow night, and then this weekend the birthday festivities of myself and a few other friends kick off. I'm looking forward to it all, and will make sure to write about it all, I'm sure. Sure. Still can't believe I'm going to be 22, the age of a couple of ducks as Stacey keeps telling me. Oh well, at least I'm not 23 yet, eh sweetie? Oh yeah and while all the TV shows I've been watching recently have decided to go and take inconsiderate mid-series breaks - I'm looking at you South Park and Doctor Who - the ultimate in television shows is back, as Dexter returns for its 5th season in the UK as kind of an early birthday present from the TV Gods. Life really is piecing itself together.

Bucket List

Last night I watched the film Bucket List starring the ever-great Jack Nicholson and the always outstanding Morgan Freeman. For those of you that haven't seen this movie yet, I highly recommend it. The film follows the two characters Edward and Carter - Nicholson and Freeman respectively - as they set out to tick items off of their bucket list after having met in the hospital.

What's a bucket list? I hear you ask. A bucket list is of course a list of things that you want to do or accomplish before you die, or should I say Kick the Bucket!

This has gotten me to thinking of what I'd like to do to live what I can later look back on as having been a complete and fulfilled life. So, ladies and gents I give to you, in no particular order, the first draft of my own personal bucket list:

1. Visit America, particularly Florida, New York and California - A US tour would be ideal.

2. Visit Rome and to utter the phrase 'When in Rome' while there.

3. Go gliding (again).

4. Go to the Superbowl.

5. Go to Wrestlemania.

6. Cycle the length/width of the country.

7. Climb a great height.

8. Help someone out by peeing on their leg after they've been stung by jellyfish.

9. Meet Mick Foley and give him a hug.

10. Write a Book.

11. Become a published author.

12. Make the New York Times Bestsellers list.

13. Discuss the art of literature with Stephen King.

14. Have a Media Room in my house - a place to retreat to.

15. Have those little fish nibble at my feet.

16. Get a tattoo.

17. Read Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol at Christmas time.

18. Build a snowman that comes to life at night and aids me in walking in the air...

19. Ride in Santa's Sleigh.

20. Learn how to play the pia-pia-piano.

21. Perform a successful backflip.

22. Create a signature culinary masterpiece.

23. Celebrate a milestone birthday with a party that I can actually remember.

24. Be a film extra.

25. Ride the biggest roller coaster there is to ride - arguably this is life itself!

Ok, Ok, some of this is pretty silly, and there will be many other things that I will want to add and change to this list in the future as I continue to age and change as a person. Of course there's an obvious few missing from this list - those being to remain healthy, to have a happy family, and to have a successful career - but those are standard and the three staples of any bucket list... for most people anyway. There is also the factor to consider of that it took me about 5 minutes to write down this list, therefore it hasn't been well thought-out, which kind of makes it null and void. I guess you've all just wasted your time reading this. Poor you! Maybe you should all go out there instead of continuing to just sit there and tick some things off of your own bucket list!

Dreams of Torment

My dreams of the last week seem to be playing some kind of psychological game with me, like a gang of school bullies who've stolen my rucksack and are throwing it between each other, keeping it out of my reach. The first was on Saturday night, and left me in a bit of bad mood all day Sunday. The dream involved me receiving news that the job that I'd originally been turned down from had changed their minds and wanted to hire me. The job itself was a mesh - a hybrid - of all of the jobs that I've been to interviews for so far this year. The job that I was being hired for incorporated all of the good qualities from each of these realistically mundane roles and rolled them all up into one for me. It had the best pay, best location, best company benefits and best dress code! Lovely. I then woke up, and after a few seconds that harsh, gritty realisation that the job had been the fiction of my mind came crashing down around me in the bed. And there we have it, I was hard for poor old Stacey to get along with all day, because the job wasn't real and I felt like a failure for not actually possessing what was merely a figment of my unconcious imagination. Towards the end of the day I did manage to get over it - and myself - and cheered up.

Truth be told, my epic quest to gain full time employment has been put on hold for a couple of weeks, and with good reason. The good reason being that the light at the end of the tunnel, the finishing line is finally in sight... My degree is nearly complete! Yes, I am currently in the midst of my last ever assignment, and I can't wait to get past it. Not only will I be able to put that I am a graduate on my CV (which should bloody well help with the job hunt), but I also won't have to spend any more time trolling through textbooks and meeting deadlines on pure self motivation. I'm ever so close to the word count at the time of writing, after which I have only to edit and reference... Oh, and maybe send it off to Pete who wrote the same essay a year ago for a readthrough if he has time before my Thursday deadline (heads-up buddy!).

Elsewhere, there is some happy news on another job front, and that is that finally, after a total time of over a year racked up as a temp at her current job, Stacey has been awarded a permanent position! Congratulations are in order, she deserves it! Now if only I could catch up!

BEER MONEY!

Last Saturday, Stacey and I visited France for the day along with friends Tam and Andrew. The main purpose for any Englishman to visit said country was fulfilled during the day as several bottles of alcoholic beverages were purchased for low-low prices. On the ferry I picked up a tasty bargain in the form of 48 bottles of Budweiser (King of Beers) for a meagre £20. I already had two bottles of the stuff at home, meaning that I was among other things in life, the proud owner of 50 bottles of Bud! It didn;t take long for me to drink one (48 hours to be exact), and I was then left with 49. I've made mention on here before of the mild form of OCD that I feel I suffer, and believe every single person to possess in some form, and Stacey, remembering this felt that I should drink another to take it down to an even 48 bottles. I surprised her though by replying with the fact that I think 49 is a nicer number than 48. I can't explain any reason or rationale for this, it's just the way I feel about those numbers... 49 > 48 afterall.

I also picked up 10 bottles of French Lager for €2.70 - another great deal - and we all bought plenty of wine and some cheese, making us stereotypical English in France. After our shopping trip, Stacey drove us to Dunqurke and we parked up for a walk around. We found a bar/restaurant and decided to stop for a drink and some food. The waitress that came to our table didn't speak English, and after a bit of a struggle, we managed to order our drinks. The girls ordered Pepsi, while Andrew and me ordered whatever the beer was, opting for the mammoth litre glasses. These glasses of beer were bigger than our heads, and needless to say we were pretty drunk after finishing. The funny thing about this place wasn't the fact that the beer came in such large quantities that you could get pissed from 1 glass, no, you see after our struggle to communcate our drinks order, the waitress whipped away our menus before we could attempt to tell her what we wanted to eat. When she went to get our drinks, I grabbed it back from the nearby bar where she had put it, but when she came back with our drinks, she actually snatched it from my hands and took it away again. We thought that maybe food wasn't being served at that time and that maybe she didn't know how to communicate that fact to us. We were wrong though, as other tables ordered and were served meals of their choosing. She obviously couldn't be bothered with us bloody English not speaking her language. A nearby McDonald's therefore served as the antidote to mine and Andrew's drunkedness, a Le Double Cheese soaking mine up for me.